


A Conflicted Soul

by orphan_account



Category: Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Gen, Justice?, Major characters already dead, No Lawlight, No Relationship, Post-Canon, Sorta kinda original character, spoiler alert?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-15
Updated: 2017-12-19
Packaged: 2019-02-15 02:21:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13021212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Masahiro is a seven year old prodigy from Wammy's. The brightest Wammy has ever seen. No one knows where any of his knowledge came from. However, Masahiro deals with internal conflict everyday as he tries to decide who he is and what he should become as a reincarnate of Yagami Light. The original Kira.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> ...

If Light was a genius, then Masahiro was a super genius. Smarter than Near, smarter than even L when they were his age. Masahiro was a little orphan who knocked on the door of Wammy’s at just a few months old speaking fluent Japanese, asking to be taken in by Wammy’s. No one knew where he was from, why he was in the rainy streets in the middle of the night, and the child didn’t care to elaborate. No one knew how he knew of Wammy’s either. When asked his name, he hesitated a few moments before saying, “Masahiro”. The orphan was taken in, and he started his training to become a detective.

 

The full extent of Masahiro’s genius was later revealed. It seemed the orphan not only knew his times tables and long division, he knew everything a highly outstanding college undergraduate would know. How he obtained this knowledge was never revealed, and although curious, everyone respected his privacy. For the time being anyway. 

 

One would suspect Masahiro was going to be the next L. Or… the next N now. However, Masahiro was not interested in detective work. He tried, he really did, but his heart wasn’t in it. He wasn’t interested in solving cases, instead, he spent all his time buried in books. He never read any novels or textbooks that were from schools, claiming that he ‘already knew everything in them’. The books he read were mostly about philosophy, human nature, and Japanese mythology. He was particularly interested in the Shinigami.

 

The now seven years old Masahiro lay in his bed, wide awake. He had dark circles underneath his eyes, just like L.

 

_Just like L._

 

Masahiro could feel it coming. The wave of questions that repeat themselves in his head over and over again. No matter what he did, what he answered, the same questions would plague him the next night. No one except him knew the reason why he knew what he knew, and how much this knowledge made him suffer. It kept him from sleeping at night. It made him confused, distressed, and depressed.

 

He answered the questions professionally, as if the world was listening to him. If he ever made a mistake, he must correct it. His immature, childish and insecure self asked his other side questions. And he reassured himself. 

 

_Who… am I?_

 

**I am a seven year old prodigy.**

 

_But… Who did I used to be? Am I still him? How much of him is still me? Are we different people?_

 

**I… I was Yagami Light. 25 year old genius from the Kanto region. Kira.**

 

_Are we the same? Do I deserve to die? Am I a bad person? I’m afraid. I’m afraid. I’m afraid. Kira scares me. Being Kira scares me. Being different scares me. I’m scared. Do I deserve to die?_

 

**Yagami Light and I are different although we share the same soul. We(I) grew up in different circumstances. Our(my) values are different. I learned from his(my) mistakes. I learned from his(my) successes. I learned from his(my) values. I do not deserve to die. Yagami Light(I) paid for his(my) mistakes. His punishment was served for being a criminal(not winning). Although I am a reincarnated version of him, I have not done anything wrong therefore I do not deserve to die (according to the justice of this world). One may argue that this is my punishment. To be reincarnated over and over while remembering everything that happened to myself. However… I suppose Yagami Light(I) would view this as a gift. He(I) wanted to become God after all.**

 

_What are my values? What is (my) justice?_

 

**I am not an actual God, and I will never become an actual God. I am not superior to anyone as a human being. Yagami Light(I) was an arrogant human and that was his(my) downfall. He(I) had a close-minded point of view. He believed his(my) justice was objective. Whatever the society right now say is justice… Is justice. I suppose the justice of society is my justice. Justice… Does not exist in my world.**

 

_Will I become Kira again?_

 

Masahiro’s breath hitched. This question… Was forbidden. He always got stuck here, as the part of him that was Yagami Light took over. His heart pounded in his ears, a wondrous feeling spread through his chest. He remembered the rush, the joy of writing in the Death Note. The feeling of power, of _killing…_ It was so good. 

 

“Aaaaah” The boy breathed softly… A grin tugging at his lips. At this moment, he wanted to kill, no, he _needed_ to kill. To feel that rush, the rush of being in power. He closed his eyes, and there he was, sitting at his old desk in Japan. The death note at his fingertips, pen in hand. Writing in it over and over and over and over and over. The sound of screams in his ears. It felt so wonderful. So fantastic. 

 

Masahiro was panting softly, giggling to himself, trying to contain his laughter, his madness. 

 

The door creaked open, and he forced himself to slow his breathing and to stop smiling. He closed his tired eyes. 

 

“Masahiro, Wake up. I know you’re not asleep.”

 

That voice. He knew the owner of that voice. Oh, how he wished to wrap his hands around that neck of his, watch his disgustingly pale face turn red… He wanted to stain that white hair of his red with his own blood- 

 

_Stop. Stop letting Yagami Light take over. Near is my mentor. I should learn from him, learn from his mistakes and his successes. After all, he did defeat my former self._

 

 _“_ How did you know Near?”

 

“Don’t call me Near and stop play dumb. Come one now, I can’t sleep so play chess with me.”

 

 _A twenty something year old wanting to playing with a seven year old…_ _That IS pretty pathetic. I should be grateful he even takes me seriously I guess… But I’m pretty sure he suspects something is up with me…_

 

Slowly, Masahiro gets out of the bed, “Sure L…”


	2. Chapter 2

Masahiro was a sickly child. His clothes always hung loosely around him, almost falling off. He was so skinny it was a miracle he could even hold himself up. He had pale, almost yellowy skin, the dark circles around his eyes looked like someone drew it one with a sharpie. His hair was cut close to his scalp so he could save the time needed to wash his hair. His fingernails were rough and uneven but clean. He looked, no doubt, much much worse than L.  
  
    Staring at the chess board, Masahiro decided he would rather be in his bed than here. Playing strategy games… It always reminded him of Yagami Light. It didn’t help that he just had a little episode earlier. He couldn’t afford to slip up and tell something to Near.  
  
    “Do you know why I called you down here?” Although Masahiro was perfectly fine with speaking English, Near insisted on speaking Japanese with him.  
  
    They were sitting on the cold floor somewhere in Wammy’s that rarely anyone passed by. The chess board was between them, a dim light above them. Near seemed to take an interest in Masahiro and sometimes called him down to play one of his games. He wasn’t sure if Near did this with everyone or just him.  
  
    “No.”  
  
    “Did you know… The number of people searching for a place called ‘Wammy’s’ has significantly increased.”  
  
    “… And why is that, L?” Usually, he had no qualms about calling Near ‘L', but tonight he felt sickened.  
  
    Giving a creepy little smile, Near said, “You don’t know?”  
  
    It was as if Near was mocking him for not knowing what’s going on with the world. No… That’s not it… It was more like… He expected him to know the answer.  
  
    “What are you implying L?”  
  
    “I suppose if it really impacts you you’ll find out.”  
  
    “I suppose so…”  
  
    There was no point in being curious. There wasn’t anything that concerned him, and if there was,  he would find out soon enough. Perhaps Near was testing him. See what he would do in this situation. Honestly, Masahiro didn’t care. He didn’t care if he became the next L or not. He didn’t care whether he died or not. He wasn’t actively trying to kill himself, but he wasn’t bent upon becoming the oldest human being to ever live.  
  
    That didn’t mean he wasn’t interested in anything, however. He was interested in the Shinigami, he was interested in why he was here on Earth and not in Mu, and he was also interested in humans. How humans interacted, how humans reacted, and what their nature was.  
  
    “Checkmate.”  
  
    “Huh. I guessed I spaced out. Sorry.”  
  
    “You have nothing to be sorry for,” Near stood up, “You know, you’re a creepy brat. I wonder… Who are you?”  
  
    He knew what Near was asking him. Was he Kira? And he wasn’t sure whether or not he was Kira yet. Or maybe he was talking about Yagami Light. Masahiro didn’t know.  
  
    “I don’t know. I’m not sure anyone does. I will be L if you want me to. If I don’t get chosen I’m fine with it too,” Masahiro started walking out of the room they were in, “And L… Stop lingering on a solved case. It won’t help you.”  
  
    When Masahiro was first born… He didn’t exist. It was Yagami Light. Yagami Light who was panicking about not being able to move. Yagami Light who was crying about being defeated by Near. Yagami Light who was in the body of a newborn baby. Over time, Yagami Light became more and more of a distant memory than himself. A figment of a child’s imagination. Before they knew it, Masahiro and Yagami Light were two different people. Different opinions, values, and personalities. Masahiro doesn’t think Light ever realized the situation he was in, despite being so bright. He supposes that’s why he was speaking Japanese when he arrived at Wammy’s. Perhaps he thought this was some sort of afterlife?  
  
    Masahiro arrived back at his room. There were no security cameras around even though every child around here has at least one secret. Or maybe that was exactly the reason why they didn’t put security cameras in Wammy’s. However, children here still need to hide their secrets well for other kids liked to unveil mysteries. They were detectives after all.      
  
    Masahiro kept some random ‘secrets’ around for that exact purpose.  
  
     _I always have more of Yagami Light inside of me than I thought. Are we really different people?_  
  
   **I guess… It depends on how you look at it. We are essentially the same person. But because of this situation… His(my) opinions changed so much he(I) turned into a different person. However, I am still innocent because this body has not caused harm to anyone else. I’m not 100 percent sure if this how it works though, I’ve never met anyone else in the same situation.**  
  
     _If I found the Death Note again… Will I become corrupt?_  
  
     **I don’t know. My best guess is yes. Whether I become corrupt or not is not relevant. What’s relevant is whether or not corruption will cause my downfall. My best guess for that is also yes. The most important thing is not to become arrogant.**  
  
    Of course, that’s easier said than done. Masahiro wonders if he will fare better at being Kira than Yagami Light. He stares at the space underneath his bed.  
  
   


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> watch as I struggle to integrate french with English.

“Uggggh why do we have to do this? It’s so boring! I already know all this!”  
  
    Two girls were sitting at a table, doing homework. One was wearing an extravagant pink dress, and the other was dressed in a T-shirt and Shorts.   
  
    “We can’t let anyone know who we are, remember Belle?” The girl wear a T-shirt and shorts hissed.  
  
    “You’re always so uptight, _Natalie, ma petite sœur.”_  
  
    “Call me your little sister again and I’ll slit your throat.” She groaned, “Why did I have to end up like this?”  
  
    “Maybe it’s because you betrayed Kami~”  
      
    “Shut it! He’s a fake, undeserving of anyone’s worship! Besides, he even killed… _you._ ”  
  
    “So did you!” Belle said  
  
    “That’s not the point!”  
  
    “Then what’s the point?”  
  
    Before her sister could retort, a woman’s footsteps were heard and they both quieted down.  
  
    “ _Mes enfants_! Viens içi tout de suite!”  
  
    A tall woman approached the two girls, impatient and cross.  
  
    “D’accord, Maman.”  
  
    Belle has admired Kira all her life. No, not admired, she had a crush on him. In a previous life she had dated him for his status and looks, but… Now… it’s a little school-girl crush. A crush she would kill for, but a crush nonetheless. Belle thinks that perhaps one day she’ll grow to love Light. That they’ll be married. After all, they did date in a past life. She hoped Light will like her just as well as he liked Kiyomi. That’s right. Belle Bonnet, formerly Takada Kiyomi wants to marry Kira. It seems her little sister, also known as Mikami Teru, does not feel the same way. In fact, the only common interest they had share in the past life is now something they argue the most about.  
  
    Now the two girls followed the woman, their mother, to the living room. They could see on TV there was a little girl in an airport talking into a microphone. Belle couldn’t really understand that much of what she was saying since she was speaking in English. She squinted and tried to read the French subtitles. The girl in the screen had blonde hair and blue eyes, although Belle suspected she was wearing a wig and contacts.   
  
    “Regarder!” The woman said, pointing at the TV, “Elle s’appelle Daphne Smith! She’s the same age as you guys, and look! She’s so talented, she’s already in high school. On top of that, she’s such a good singer. She looks up to Amane Misa! Her fans started a fundraiser to fulfill her dream to go to England since she lives in Australia. She wants to go to an orphanage for the gifted or something. Now she’s in the airport about to board the plane and… It’s just so emotional. Why can’t you guys be more like her!”  
  
    “Blonde hair… Blue eyes.. A little girl in high school… It can’t be-“  
  
    “That JERK! It’s that jerk! She stole my boyf-“  
  
    Mikami interrupted, “That idiot! Doesn’t she know it’s dangerous? What if Near-“  
  
    “Mes enfants! Stop talking in that gibberish! Vous avez sept ans, alors parler en français, d’accord? Now look, I want you guys to look up to her, she’s so brilliant!”  
  
    “Far from it…” Mikami muttered under his breath.  
  
    “It’s Japanese, Maman.”  
  
    “Japanese? _Oh mon dieu_! Are you guys watching anime? I’ve heard those Japanese cartoons rot your brains. You’ve no time to mess around, you guys need to study.”  
  
    The woman stood up and looked at the two girls in disapproval, “Look at you, Belle, you pay so much attention to your appearance! Why do you always have to wear such fancy dresses? Do you know how much time you waste? No wonder your grades are so low. And you Natalie! You pay too little attention to how you look! Did you cut your hair again? At this rate, people are going to think you’re a boy. Pay a little more attention to your attire!”  
  
    “Well, if we need to study so much why don’t you let us go do our homework? We’ll try our best to catch up to… Daphne…”  
  
    “Well that’s good. Go now children.”  
  
    The girl in the screen was smiling and waving at the camera, preparing to board the plane, and Belle swears she could see the tiniest glint of red through her blue eyes.


End file.
